Reverend Wright . com

In an amazing turn of events, Barack Obama has chosen his fiery pastor, Reverend Jeremiah Wright, as his running mate. According to inside sources, he has done this in order to fulfill his promise to “unite America.” One of Reverend Wright’s first duties in office, should they be elected, will be to instruct the CIA to inflict obesity on white people. He believes that this will be the fitting revenge and due compensation for the CIA’s purported spread of AIDS as a means to eradicate black people. Behind closed doors, the Reverend was quoted as saying, “unity can best be achieved once we are all alike.” The eradication of all white people would seem to be an excellent way of doing this.

When asked what they plan to do with all the white peoples’ money, he responded that new legislation would be proposed that would allow fat white people to explore compensation for the many injustices they have faced because of their fatness. The historic legislation would be called “Fat Action.” He envisions using the tools of government to equalize the polarity within the United States by pitting poor disenfranchised blacks against chubby whites using a complex and poorly understood set of rules that would let the government rank applications for “affirmative action” cases directly alongside “fat action” cases.

In between licking his fingers, the good Reverend was quoted as saying, “Now those white motherfu…ers will know how it feels.” He is expected to present himself differently once in contact with officials from other countries. Tammy, a fat white person from the Midwest was quoted as saying, “I don’t understand…” but was cut off mid-sentence because she was choking on something.